JOHN BOEHNER as cornelius fudge.
I mean, the entire time, you’re just like, who let this asshole into office? And he’s easily swayed by the infiltration of the Tea Party.
ANTHONY WEINER as alastor “mad-eye” moody.
One hashtag: #Democratswhofight. I suppose he’s also the entire fucking Order of the Phoenix.
JON STEWART AND STEPHEN COLBERT as fred and george weasley.
Self-explanatory. They’re playful but oh my God, when they want to be serious, they will take bigots down.
ASIF ALI ZARDARI as peter pettigrew.
The President of Pakistan knows where his sides are buttered. And Mr. 100%’s a slimy, sneaky rat.
JOE BIDEN as neville longbottom.
Only a true badass may wield the Sword of Gryffindor. And because Broseph Biden is the best ever.
GLENN BECK and SARAH PALIN as vincent crabbe and gregory goyle.
Is there any mass dissent? I thought not.
VLADIMIR PUTIN as lord voldemort.
My friend Liz suggested this one and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Let’s just say this guy has enough skeletons in his closet to furnish an entire cemetery. From the human rights abuses in Chechnya to silencing his political opponents. Don’t trust this guy one bit. And then just like people have a certain obsession with Voldemort, Putin has his own cult following. I think they fit each other.
ED MILIBAND as cedric diggory.
I think these two are some of the most underappreciated people ever. Everyone always calls them the spare… except they motherfucking show you. Ed beats fellow Milibro David to become Leader of the Labour Party and Cedric Diggory becomes Hogwarts Champion and Hufflepuff House Quidditch Captain to boot. They’re both kind-hearted individuals who care about the downtrodden and help people out and I don’t know, I just ridiculously love these two.
DENNIS KUCINICH as dobby.
I mean, really, the most endearing member of Congress there ever was. And, uhm, he looks the part.
RAHM EMANUEL as ron weasley.
Just like Ron starts out as Harry’s right hand man, you’ve got Rahm Emanuel as Barack’s former Chief of Staff. They both grow into their own person that can be distinguishable from Harry/Barack, like Rahm is now the Mayor-Elect of
My PantsChicago, but both remain loyal to their friends. Rahm’s a hardass, he’s not afraid to take you down for his friends. Of course, he and Ron both have their issues— Rahm’s a Zionist, Ron’s got the emotional range of a teaspoon, but they’ve got their redeeming qualities. Not to mention their undeniable chemistry with Hermione/Nancy.
