hey new followers:

i don’t think you understand what you’re getting yourselves into to. this blog is not clever political pop culture references. this blog is what the lovechild of nickelback and comic sans would look like. nothing insightful. 

in fact, it’s mostly comprised of:

• descriptions of the things explicitly forbidden in the qu’ran that i would do to politicians (esp. to joe biden, hillary clinton, nancy pelosi, and dennis kucinich). 
• rants bitching at les miserables fans for bitching at and policing other fans.
• nostalgia over my 2010 internship which was like the peak of my life.
• crying bald eagles and bad analogies about pakistan’s foreign policy.
• liveblog of homework, exams, adderall highs, and despair. 

i used to liveblog how i hate showering but people from my new college follow me now and i want to retain some dignity so uhm ok. 

so if you still want to follow me, you should just say hi in my ask box so i can follow back. just introduce yourselves, tell me some things about you. we’ll be buds.

Hi. I’m Zainab. I think there are enough of you that I should probably introduce myself again so I don’t seem like that asshole who posts one-liners about Bill Clinton’s penis all the time. I’m more than just that. Sometimes I branch out and talk about Teddy Roosevelt’s dick as well. I also don’t really look like that, I just learned how to take decent pictures thanks to America’s Next Top Model reruns.

• I’m eighteen years old, cisgender female, born in Jhelum, and raised thirty minutes south of Washington, DC. I currently go to college in Erie, Pennsylvania. I’m a freshman majoring in political science. 
• Uhm, my claim to fame on Tumblr was that I was an intern once upon a time and that obviously makes me the shit so I talk about Pakistan whenever I damn feel like it. I actually don’t do anything except sit my ass all day now.
• My personality is two parts Joe Biden and one part Bill Clinton.
• I am about as liberal as liberal gets. Like, on a scale from one to Dennis Kucinich, I fall at about a Nancy Pelosi level. Liberty and healthcare for all. 
• I’m an asshole. Douchebaggery is what I do. I tried this thing once where I was nice to people but it didn’t work out. Fuck the world. 
• My bro name is Bronica Lewinski.
• I have a twin sister, but I was adopted and raised as an only child. Long story made short, I shared my toys with no bitch.
• I was on a competitive trivia team (also a former rugby player, but nothing worked me out as much as trivia did.) 
• Showering is for the weak. Sometimes if I’m really into a guy, I actually shower for him.
• I suffer from a severe case of word vomit, I honestly do not shut up once I get started. I live every day like it’s TMI Tuesday. This blog will touch on every topic from masturbation to explicit details about Don Cheadle sex fantasies. It’s no big deal. 
• Uhm, yeah, I like to be friends with people, so feel free to either message my inbox and that fuckery, or add me on AIM (oh cinderblock), MSN (ohayynarcissus@hotmail.com), or Skype (roguerequiem). 

So yeah. Talk to me and shit. I’m an okay person, I swear.

ruthlessbliss:

Things I Think of When I Think of Zainab.

… oh my god.

I love my friends. 

ABOUT ME

My name is Zainab.

I am made of a classy brand. By classy, I mean, slightly more expensive than Walmart but cheaper than Nordstrom. So I figured I’d introduce myself to my new followers to try to save some face in the lack of quality my blog’s been recently. Like seriously, what am I doing with my life. Absolutely nothing. Anyway. Here’s a little about me for everyone. I promise I’ll treat you right in the upcoming days. 

• I’m eighteen years of age, I am a cisgender female, and I was born in Jhelum, Pakistan and raised thirty minutes south of Washington, DC. I still live there. 
• Most recently, I worked in DC as an intern at the Embassy of Pakistan. It gave me some insight of the world, but I’m in no way an expert on the country. I did get to attend some cool parties. 
• I run Backpacks for Peace. It’s still under construction. We’re getting the website completed and once all of that is in, I’m going to start fundraising intensely. Check out the website: backpacksforpeace.
• My favorite pun is “Mash’Allah not Martial Law.” I will keep repeating it until someone laughs or appreciates it. 
• I think the main thing you have to understand about me is that I’m a raging liberal. I’m incredibly frustrated with the GOP right now. Dennis Kucinich is my favorite, followed by Nancy Pelosi and Huma Abedin. I’m pro-choice, welfare-for-all, and the rich should pay heavier taxes. You know that one line, “no one is free when someone else is oppressed”? So true. 
• I get emotional really easily while debating. I’m trying to work on that. I guess I’m biased. I swear, I’m trying, I’m trying. 
• Also Les Miserables. I mean, you can’t follow me without expecting an avalanche of Les Miserables. I’m sorry, I really am, but gah, Les Miserables just about makes me the happiest girl in the world. Every little character, every little scene, I feel very strongly about it. I relate most to Grantaire (omg why~) so he’s definitely my favorite. I’m sort of an E/R shipper but at the same time, I just ship everyone with everyone. Feelings, I have them.
• And I sort of have many feelings toward Hadley Fraser and his beautiful, beautiful, beautiful voice. #RIPPirateQueen
• I was raised an only child, but I have a twin. It’s a cool but long story. I was adopted and all that blah. It’s a good existence. Never had to share my toys, you know.
• I’m currently a senior in high school. Almost done. As senior class treasurer, I get to write a speech for graduation and all I want to do is flick everyone off. On a classiness scale from Sarah Palin to Barack Obama, I fall at about a Bill Clinton. 
• I’m committed to Mercyhurst College Class of 2015. #LakerNation. My future roommate is a more conservative, white version of me. I’m really excited for her because we’re getting along really fine and we’re so civil despite differences in opinion. I think we’re going to be great friends. 
• There is no such thing as TMI for me anymore. I have no boundaries. I have liveblogged myself taking a dump on here. That was the lowpoint of my life. Seriously, there is no topic I won’t touch upon, including but not limited to, masturbation, sex (or in my case, the lack thereof), people I’d like to bang, etc etc. There will be times when you’re like “Zainab, why do you even talk sometimes?” I don’t have an answer to that. It’s like word vomit. I never shut the fuck up. Like now. Exactly like now. 
• Uhm. Yeah. I really like to make friends, so if you want to talk to me, ever, you can leave a message in my ask box and I will definitely reply. I just like talking to people. You can also reach me at oh cinderblock on aim and ohayynarcissus@hotmail.com on msn. 
• If I ever say something that offends you, I apologize. Just call me out so I can fix my mistake. I really like learning new things, especially because I used to say “gyp” all the time before my best friend Jen called me out for it being a racial slur. 
• Also, my other blogs include fyeahrevolutionarywalrus, fyeahlesamis, fylesmiserables. I help contribute to fuckyeahsouthasia and ramin-karimloo. So you can find me there too.

Uhm yeah, so hey. c:

books: moth smoke, the great gatsby, a case of exploding mangoes, the reluctant fundamentalist, les miserables, love you hate you miss you, miracle wimp, big mouth & ugly girl, one night, witch child, perks of being a wallflower, atonement, the last templar, thousand splendid suns, the book thief, a handmaid’s tale, les miserables, half the sky. 

movies: mr. and mrs. smith, the red baron, my name is khan, inglourious basterds, shutter island, avatar, invictus, rocket science, atonement, blood diamond, the bourne supremacy, dogma, the departed, scary movie, slumdog millionaire, the invisible children documentary, sabah: a love story, casino royale, bhutto: the documentary, the message, v for vendetta, 1408, sleepers, dead poet’s society, the great gatsby, precious: based on the novel push, quest for camelot, outsourced, the stoning of soraya m, momento, the princess and the frog, tangled, dr. horrible’s sing-along blog, district 9, penelope.

tv: supernatural, merlin, better with you, melissa & joey, dexter, glee, survivors, the inbetweeners, harper’s island, valentine, dollhouse, skins, the forgotten, it’s always sunny in philadelphia, being human, army wives, gossip girl, paris hilton’s new bff, jersey shore, real world: cancun, the simpsons, little mosque on the prairie, 90210, pillars of the earth, the daily show.

music: maria mena, ramin karimloo, ke$ha, the sheytoons, vienna teng, yes giantess, drake, lea salonga, think about life, little boots, lykke li, bim, lmfao, alphabeat, amy winehouse, anna ternheim, augustana, bat for lashes, the bird and the bee, bitter:sweet, britney spears, cake, christina aguilera, candie payne, charlotte sometimes, civil twilight, daft punk, dizzie rascal, dolly rockers, ebony bones, ellie goulding, emiliana torrini, emmy the great, kanye west, esthero, a fiine frenzy, flamboyant bella, flobots, florence and the machine, flypside, garage, gareth gates, girls can’t catch, glen hansard, hyper crush, immaculate machine, john legend, kid cudi, the killers, justin bieber, lady gaga, the last shadow puppets, laura marling, lil jon, lily allen, lucy & the caterpillar, m.i.a., mansions, michael ball, mr. hudson, n-dubz, the postal service, nsg, nusrat fateh ali khan, one republic, panjabi mc, paradiso girls, peaches, queen, ricky martin, sara bareilles, sia, sohodolls, stars, belle and sebastien, stefy, supreme beings of leisure, cat power, susie suh, swimming with dolphins, susheela raman, uffie, timothy victor, uh huh her, vanessa carlton, vitamin string quartet, within temptation, yael naim.

wow… three hundred followers. i think it’s time to introduce myself to everyone. 

• i am the goddamn zainab. i am the hero tumblr deserves. 
• i live thirty minutes south of washington dc and that’s where i work as an intern.
• i run backpacks for peace, a charity that will provide backpacks filled with school supplies to underprivileged children in pakistan. 
• i am a liberal. a filthy, filthy liberal. i ship rahm emanuel/nancy pelosi so hard. hillary clinton is my queen. i am also a socialist. welfare for all. 
• i believe in reproductive rights for women, the right for two consensual adults to love, and the right to worship who you please. 
• my heart bleeds for kashmir and palestine. 
• i came to the united states when i was three. i didn’t learn english until my first day of school two years later. 
• i use helen keller jokes as icebreakers. 
• i love puns, historical, and political humor more than anything. 
• les miserables is my life. every single song has been memorized. 
• i watch tv shows like i’m a paid professional. 
• i play rugby. fucking love me some rugby. i’m a lock, meaning i’m on my knees and my face is between some chick’s legs. 
• i like men with beards and massive thunder thighs like sebastien fucking chabal. 
• i drive a yellow 2005 beetle convertible. 
• i’m muslim. i make muslim jokes. deal with it. 
• i will name my first-born son jihad. because i can.
• if i were a man, i would be a bro. i’d be called priapus. 

LASS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME EVER. 

the things i’m currently obsessed with are ramin karimloo, garrett hedlund’s smile, matthias schweighofer, mat gordon, homo couples, dennis kucinich, jon stewart, and nancy pelosi. i also ship grantaire/enjolras, rusty/danny, alexander hamilton/thomas jefferson, pansy/harry, and because of tangle… pansy/the ghost of colin creevy so fucking hard. 

AND I’M GOING TO BE A MERCYHURST COLLEGE LAKER NEXT YEAR. AYO. 

don’t judge me. i don’t think my father, the inventor of toaster strudel, would be too pleased to hear about that.

leave a message in my askbox, we should talk sometime.